And my heart blooms.
I woke up this morning to find another parking ticket on the van. I'm up to 3 tickets total on this tour. There should be some sort of pass you can buy federally to travel across Canada and park anywhere. The signs in Halifax say you can only park for 15 minutes between 8am-12pm, which doesn't even make any sense.
This trip has truly been a test of my strength and resolve. So far, the shows have been half well attended, half poorly attended, but we're always playing our best. Last nights show was played to the other bands and the vlt room, but they told us it was the best sound they had ever heard at the venue. We did our own sound. We did our own door, and we did the promotion. I expect there to be a few people out at every show, but I have to remember too that no one really knows about this band, that certain regional factors will keep people from leaving their homes, and that the next time I roll into town, it will be easier to do this. It was still crushing when only three people paid cover though, and they all had intentions of winning all their money back in the vlt room. This is the album release tour, but it is still one of building relationships with musicians and venues across North America.
And as I build professional relationships, I also build personal ones. Even back at home, across a country, I am getting to know someone that I would like to know more. My heart has called me back to Winnipeg before, but we were a reckless and impulsive team back then. I was headed to Montreal when my phone buzzed and I was surprised to see who the text was from asking how the trip was going. This person is mostly a stranger, yet because I have learned to listen to whispering heart, I am aware that there is the chance of a deeper connection. So when I got the message, heart was skipping and making beats. CALM YOURSELF, I said. It means nothing and this person is being kind, and they are just asking you a question. But heart knew better.
When I decide to follow heart, things can happen quickly and without thought. In the past few years I have learned to include thought into action so as not to hurt myself and the others around me. I reminded myself of my personal commitments to be alone, of the fact that it would over a month before I got home and that I had no idea what this person's situation was. The conversation went from texting to phone calls in a blink of an eye, and now I find myself looking to define what this new friendship means to me. Lucky for heart and I, this person is honest and true and since I have been honig these skills also, our conversations have been emotional AND rational. This person knows about my commitments and I know of theirs. What a wonderful way to start a friendship, and my heart swells in pride for having been right. It sings with love for having been listened to. But I somehow still feel like a failure because this new relationship hasn't exploded into a passionate affair that will ruin and wreck everything is it's path! Every time I'm met with a new opportunity for a personal relationship, I have to take note of the parts of me that have changed and the parts of me that want to stay the same out of habit. It's strange to be doing that in a relationship with someone back home while I am away. Needless to say, I AM EXCITED BY ALL OF THIS.
Want to see some photos?
Lindsay Duncan was kind enough to let us stay at her place for a couple of nights. This is her back yard.
Triumph - he elevates his body to a walking position and dips his fries in ketchup, thereby fulfilling his desires.
Tragedy - he falls face-first into a pile of ketchup and fries.
Brennan is not shy when it comes to playing music with others. He is confident and capable and he played with Lindsay almost her entire set. It was magical.
We drive to Moncton today. One of my favorite I Mother Earth songs is about Moncton. I don't listen to I Mother Earth any more.
Talk to you soon.