Montreal, this is what my heart looks like every time I leave you.
This is also what my pizza looked like because I was using an oven I was not accustomed to. It doesn't look pretty, but it was delicious.
This weekend was full of good vibes. We rolled into Montreal at 10pm on Friday and went directly to drop off Karl and Cody at the place they were to stay. We had to split up because my friend Mara only had room for two, so Jon from the One Man Band Fest helped me find a place for two of my gentlemen. I found the entrance, walked up the stairs and knew it would be a great Montreal experience for them. It was an art loft with transient people roaming in and out sharing stories and food and love, and it would have been the type of place I would have loved to stay in 10 years ago. There were people coming and going as I was trying to figure out who I was supposed to talk to so these guys could get settled in. And then I remembered that speaking french would probably get me on the fast track to finding out. After some email checking and asking around a young woman stepped out of one of the many rooms and said that she was aware this was happening, so I thanked her, wished the dudes good luck and made my way to Mara's for some hangouts with a good friend. The age difference is difficult for me sometimes because the things I like to talk about now are different then the things I liked to talk about when I was 21. That isn't to say that there isn't any common ground, but a conversation with Mara was welcomed. I had planned to go out and see a friend working one of the OMBF shows but we didn't end up leaving Mara's until 1am so by the time I got there it was over.
I decided to suspend my 'drink-less' policy for the stay. The minute I stepped outside I wanted to start drinking all the delicious beers and boozes. Montreal has this way of opening people up to wanting to experience more in life, or at least that's what it does to me. People are more welcoming and friendly in that city. It's easier to talk to people, assuming the language barrier isn't a thing, but even then it's easier I think. So I left Mara's a little drunk and quickly found myself with little to do. I felt conflicted because I felt like I had wasted a chance to get wasted! That's ridiculous. I came to terms with the fact that it was okay for me to drink while I was out there because that's what I wanted to do and I am a grown-ass man choosing my own adventure. I can tell that my personal challenges to change my relationship to booze and with sex are paying off. I feel more comfortable talking to people and being out without booze. I feel more comfortable and like myself (not some hyped up version of myself) when I drink too.
The next day we got up late, had some food and I started preparing for the last one man show of the tour. The show was amazing, but I would much rather play with people now. The music losses a level of intensity if it's just me and although I know I can hold my own, having other people on stage playing this music leaves an impression on the audience. It also started feeling like there was a separation between the guys and I. They play in Halifax tomorrow, but they haven't played since last Wednesday and it was feeling like they were my crew more then the band I was travelling with. I believe this situation will be rectified as of tomorrow when we start a long string of shows. It feels like the tour is finally starting. We got the first few practice shows out of the way, then we all got the chance to lolligag in cities other then Winnipeg and now the tour begins. I'm looking forward to it.
The 12 hour drive starting last night in Montreal has me feeling pretty run down. I didn't even drive. It's picture time.
FRIENDS.
I don't feel like I did this post justice. I had a lot of thoughts and feelings that maybe I can put into words later. Montreal has this way of tearing me open so I can learn something new about myself or test what I have learned. You want to read about my feelings right? RIGHT?
